Fucking Fuck Fuckers

Fuck Fucking Fuckers depressed pissed pissed pissed Morrissey is the only person that understands me. Ron paul 2016. I hate everybody. I deem it necessary to always capitalize the F-word.

I’m feeling rather edgy. Today I had a throbbing headache when I got home. It was weird because it didn’t necessarily hurt. But it was throbbing. So I took a long nap and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. When I woke up I was angry and went downstairs and made macaroni and cheese. Macaroni and cheese is kind of gross to think about. So much dairy. I want to go vegan. I wish I didn’t love milk so much.
And then I took a bath while listening to cape crisis. I needed an excuse to do nothing I did not feel like thinking.

So I’m on accutane now. It has alot of side effects. Dry skin, I can handle it. Headaches, HA that worries me so much I’m shaking in my shoes. But worstly, my skin will break out really bad. But it is worth it. When all is said done I’ll be completely done with acne, putting me one step closer to being comfortable in my skin. When I look in the mirror, I can’t stand it. My chest is inarguably disgusting. I will never take my shirt off around people, and lord knows the anxiety that fills me when I think about having to take my shirt off if I ever lay someone. And my face is really bad. Both my cheeks are covered. It is intolerable. It sucks because I worry that if my parents think it is making me depressed that they will take me off it. It is only for six months. I can take six months of it.

Call me morbid, call me pale

I've spent six years on your trail

Six full years of my life on your trail

And if you have five seconds to spare

Then I'll tell you the story of my life

Sixteen, clumsy and shy

So last night I was writing my story when I felt it. I saw the line “all the other kids” and I knew it was time to write a poem. And I wrote that bitch. It needs some heavy editing. But I still think it is good. I don’t know what I’m going to try and do tonight with my writing.Maybe work on the story more. I have lab tomorrow to deal with it.

Pandora is being a dick.

So there is this girl Taylor in my forensics class. And I want to have sex with her. I’m trying to set up, because I don’t think I’m far off. I don’t want to go out with her. Normally I would. But I have two good reasons why I should not. First, she is a dirty cheater. She was totally going out with my friend layne and cheated on him. The problem there is not that I don’t want to hurt laynes feelings or I hold a grudge on her for it.
My head is throbbing to Joy division.
It really is not that.
I can’t go out with her because she would cheat. Yes, I understand people can change. But knowing that she would cheat would fill me so full of anxiety that she was cheating on me I would not be able to stand it. There is no way that relationship could last long.
ALSO SHE DOES NOT LIKE THE MUPPETS! YOU DO NOT HAVE A SOUL IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE MUPPETS.
And Brad would give me so much crap for dating her. He has some massive grudge against her. He has a grudge against most woman. He also has really high standards for someone who has never been kissed.
I’m lowering my standards.
A little bit.
I still have respect though.
But there is something about this girl that turns me on! It is in the most primal sense of the word. She seems kind of easy, and she is fond of me. But I’m thinking of straight up just telling her “Hey I think it would be mutually beneficial if we had sex.”
I think she might like that.
I know I would.
Today when me and my sister were driving home from school the song king of the carrot by neutral milk hotel came on. I told my sister that this song reminds of Perks of being a wallflower. She agreed immediately. I thought that was cool. I’m going to watch an episode of clannad and then start writing my story again.